Self Esteem Activities for Middle School Children
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Our children need confidence-how do we, as parents help?
Self-esteem is a crucial aspect of a child’s development. The evidence is overwhelming on how big of a part self-esteem plays in the success of a child, long term. Unfortunately, many children struggle with low self-esteem, particularly during the challenging adolescent years. As a result, it is important to provide middle school children with opportunities to build their self-esteem. Try this with self esteem activities at home.
Why is self-esteem important?
Confidence
Confidence is critical for personal growth and development. It also allows a child to try new things and believe that they can succeed.
Academic Success
Children with high self-esteem are more likely to perform well academically. They are more motivated, engaged, and focused on their learning.
Resilience
Children with high self-esteem are better able to cope with setbacks, challenges, and failures. This is a key component in mental health.
Emotional well-being
Low self-esteem is often linked to a range of mental health issues, including anxiety, depression, and poor emotional regulation. Children with high self-esteem are better able to manage their emotions, express themselves effectively, and cope with stress and adversity.
Positive Relationships
Children with high self-esteem are better able to communicate their needs, set boundaries, and express themselves effectively. These skills are essential for building healthy relationships and avoiding negative ones.
The mental health of our children is arguably our next pandemic. Prior to Covid, the CDC reported that 1 in 5 children had a mental disorder. Only 20% of these children were getting professional help.
Building self-esteem and creating self esteem activities at home can help with these alarming numbers.
How do I build self-esteem at home?
There are many self esteem activities you can do at home that can help your child learn to feel good about themselves, be confident in their abilities, and believe in themselves. You do not need to do all of these, choose the ones that feel natural for you and your family.
1. Positive Affirmations
True confessions. This one is like meditation for me. I have a hard time with these. These do not flow naturally for me. However, just like meditation, I have read the research and I acknowledge the amazing benefits of them.
Why are they important? We all have an inner dialogue. This is the voice we hear most often…and believe. When this voice is constantly saying negative things to us, we believe it. Positive affirmations, said out loud, change this inner dialogue.
I found a way to make these work for me and our family so that they did not feel “goofy.” Which is how I interpreted these.
I created 30 hearts that you can cut out.
On each of them is a very short and simple affirmation.
You start each one with Today…
Place a different heart on the mirror the night before, and the next morning, you read that affirmation.
That is it, super simple.
An example is: Today I will be a positive person or today is a fresh start.
Grab your 36 Heart Cut Out “Today” Positive Affirmations here!
2. Your Opinion Matters
Have discussions with your child. These are “no winner” type discussions. We seem to live in a world where people try to bully us or shout us into agreeing with their side. This is not the kind of discussion you will have. The idea is to build confidence.
Listen. Encourage. Ask questions. Validate.
The topics do not have to be centered around self-worth topics. When you show that you respect your child’s ideas and opinions you are showing that they have worth.
I came up with 25 great ideas. I asked follow up questions. You can get these in the downloads as well. The idea is to ask one question and see what your child does with it. If they get stuck or want more probing, ask follow up questions.
Examples:
- If you were president (this is on the premise that a president can make a change in and of themself), what is one change you would do for the nation? How would that look? What are the steps that you think you would need to go through to make that happen? What would your biggest obstacles be?
- Should students study year round? What would the schedule look like that you think is most ideal? This includes days a week and times during the day. How much of that time would be independent study or study done with a computer? Why do you think the schedule you are creating is more beneficial to learning?
- How does a person learn to be good? How do they learn the difference between what they should do and what they should not? What causes them to want to choose the path that is good for themselves and others?
Grab your 25 Fabulous Self Esteem Discussion Points Here!
3. Change the Story
Encourage your child to talk about an issue that is upsetting to them.
If they feel that someone said something cruel or they were unexpectedly put off by a friend, look at the scenario.
Was there anything done previously that could have caused this?
So often, other’s behavior has absolutely nothing to do with us.
What if in that story, right before they saw their friend, their friend learned that their parents were really angry and the friend was afraid?
The friend could have lashed out, not because they were angry, but because they were afraid.
We do not know what other’s stories are. Teach your child to ask:
“Did I do something to upset you? I value our friendship and did not mean to cause any harm.”
If the other person continues to be nasty, but not give any feedback on what your child did, it is probably the other person’s story.
Also have your child change their personal story. This is part of that inner dialogue we talked about in positive affirmations. When your child sees themself as a victim due to bullying, appearance, educational or athletic ability, etc, they push this “I am a victim” persona onto others.
Help them change their story.
4. Gifts and Talents
Part of changing that story will be to explore what your child excels in. Allow them to communicate their feelings and frustrations. If your child can build, paint, draw, sculpt, etc, have them express what they are feeling this way. They can turn their feelings into something amazing. Focus on the skill and beauty of the creation. Show your child how impressed you are that they are able to create this.
As your child gains confidence in who they are and what makes them special, they will start to change their own stories about who they are.
5. Find your Tribe
Nothing feels better than when people truly get you and still like you! Help your child find others who have a similar personality interests. For example, if your child is more of an introvert, but loves the outdoors. See if you can connect with other moms who have children who may be interested in going on walks, to the lake, or to the park, but have a kiddo in the same age bracket who is more of an observer than a talker.
6. Get Physical
Vitamin D, fresh air, and movement these make for a happy and healthy kiddo! By participating in physical activities, students can build their self-confidence by seeing their own physical abilities and unique talents. If your child tries sports, they will also be interacting with other children. Usually this is a great experience.
7. Part of a Family Unit
Let your child know that they belong. They are an integral part of your family unit.
In Age Appropriate Chores for Middle Schoolers I talk about the value of “chipping in” and contributing to the family.
Create a family identity that your children can relate to and know.
You want them to be proud of being a part of your family unit and to know how this is defined within your family.
I call this “United we stand” in family kindness.
Building self-esteem in middle school children is critical for their emotional and social development. It is essential to provide children with opportunities to build their self-esteem, such as positive affirmations, cultivating their opinions, creative projects, finding their tribe, and physical activities. By encouraging these self esteem activities at home, children can learn to feel good about themselves, be confident in their abilities, and believe in themselves. This all leads to a strong foundation for a happy and successful life.