Age Appropriate Chores for Middle School Age Kids

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Which chores should you give and is there an easier way?

Chores. The word sounds ominous and dreary. I like “allow participation” much better. A household needs energy and work put into it in order for it to flow and operate well. I believe that everyone who lives in the home is responsible for contributing to that flow. If someone does not contribute the flow is interrupted, the overall energy of the home dwindles, and in the end, stuff just does not get done.

A lot goes into a functioning household. Bills need to be paid. Meals need to be made. Rooms need to be cleaned. Pets, plants, yards, etc. need to be cared for. Everyone should be allowed and expected to participate in creating a wonderfully operating home. This brings that dreaded word…chores.

How do I assign chores to my middle school age child?

1. Create a chore chart.

Do you feel like you are constantly repeating yourself? Do your children tell you that you nag? This was not the job you signed up for! A chore chart operates under the premise that everyone understands the jobs that need to get done and how to do them. The beauty of a chore chart is that the children learn how to manage themselves. A chore chart can be done on a white board, paper, or digitally. If your child loves technology, read 12 Strategies for how Busy Moms Use Alexa, to learn how Alexa will talk to your child and remind them of their chores. You can also periodically “check in” on the family, through Alexa to see what is or is not completed.

2. Create team tasks.

Have you ever cooked dinner by yourself? Huge gasp from you all! I know, many (most) of us cook dinner by ourselves. Let’s play pretend. Imagine a dinner world where we sit down as a family and plan the menu for the week. Then we divide the chores that go into the entire production of dinner. Groceries need to be purchased. If you are a really savvy family, before the meals are decided, someone is looking at the sales for the week and figuring out which major items will be a friendlier hit to your wallet. This is one of the steps in How to Raise Independent Children. The prepping for the meal needs to be done: thawing the meat, and chopping veggies or slicing anything. You can even have someone pre-measure ingredients and put it all in tiny dishes, as if you were a member of a mail order meal service plan. Someone else can do the prep work of the kitchen, set the table and clean up the kitchen so the person cooking has a sanitary environment to cook in. Then the cook, just cooks. Then the clean up crew comes in and takes care of left over food, dishes, and counters. When you take a chore that has to be done, but create a team effort around it, it becomes more digestible and a way to rely upon and bond with your other family members. I would definitely switch up who gets which jobs from month to month.

3. Give choices.

You know what needs to be done in the house. Can you make a list of everything that needs to happen in the home for it to function well? A quick example list may look like:

Daily: take out all of the garbages to the big bin, make bed, feed pet, clean counters, and kitchen duties
Weekly: the garbage gets taken out, mom’s car gets emptied of trash and toys, plants get watered, clean the bathrooms, and laundry
Monthly: clean out refrigerator, clean all door handles and remotes, clean the oven, and dust the fans

Once you have written down everything, I mean everything, that needs to be done in the home, have a family sit down to look over the list. Talk about what each task entails. One of the biggest missteps is when a person assumes that someone else knows how to do something the way you want it done. Clean counters in our home looked very different to me than they did to my nine year old son. I had to coach him on why I cupped my hand under the counter and brought the rag to my hand and why I used a spray once the big stuff was cleaned.

After explaining all of the jobs, talk about expectations. How many daily, weekly, and monthly jobs can your children do to be participating members of your home and still be fully active in their own lives? Should they be entirely responsible for their own spaces and belongings? This would be part of their daily and weekly chores.

What are age appropriate chores for middle school age kids?

I want to first establish that I consider this age to be 11 – 14. Also, age appropriate and circumstance appropriate are two different things. So read this knowing that your circumstances may have created a child who is capable of much more. Growing up, I had a friend who lived with just her mom. She had a younger brother and her mom worked. She was cooking the main meal because her mom did not get home until late and doing the laundry at age 10. I do not think this is the ideal or even desired. My friend swore off having a family since she had already raised one by the time she was 16. However, she was fully capable of helping that situation work.

What do I think middle school age kids should be doing to help out?

These are age appropriate chores they can do, I do not think that they should be doing all of these.

1. Fold and put away laundry.
2. By 14, they have learned how to use the washer and dryer and are doing their own laundry.
3. Most kitchen duties, 11 may be too young for raw meat and a food processor, but they are learning.
4. Keep their own bedrooms clean: vacuum, dust, wash sheets, make bed.
5. Sweep and mop (and empty dustpan and mop bucket appropriately).
6. Vacuum and dust (and learn how to dust window blinds and vents and use vacuum attachments for furniture and drawers).
7. Clean bathroom: toilets, tubs, counters, floors, mirrors, etc. A big hint I have for you is see how your child best does things. My boys did not “spray and wipe” well. And I want the bathroom “well sprayed.” I broke down and bought antibacterial wipes. My boys cleaned the bathrooms like champs when they had those wipes.
8. Be responsible for household garbages (and to the corner weekly), mail, and newspaper.
9. Total pet responsibility: feeding, watering, exercising, and cleaning up after them.
10. Raking leaves, shoveling snow, or washing cars.

Chores can teach valuable lessons like time management, responsibility, work ethic, and good habits. Sometimes parent and child enter into a nagging and sullen or withdrawn relationship over chores. This article gives you ideas on how to assign chores and ideas on age appropriate chores for middle school age kids.

“It is not in doing what you like, but in liking what you do that is the secret of happiness.”

~Peter Pan