Your Child’s Love Language

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How can you express love so that your child will feel it?

Love languages are ways that people express and receive love.
Each person in your family can have a different love language.
It is very common to give love the way you want to receive it.
This is why it is important to understand your child’s love language so that you can give them love, comfort, and support in a way that resonates with them.

Gary Chapman first brought the love languages to our attention.
He has expanded our views by writing: “The Five Love Languages of Children,” where you can find much more information.

The 5 Different Love Languages

Quality Time

Some children feel most loved when you spend time together.
In a world that often feels rushed and busy, you will need to carve out some special “slowed down” time to be attentive to your child.

Quality time ideas

• Go on a walk together. You can enjoy the early evening, fresh air, and conversation.
• Let your child choose their favorite restaurant and go out for a meal or snack.
• Reading time at night, which is so important, is also a great way to enjoy quality time together.
• Play games or put puzzles together.
• Plan an special outing to the park, museum, library, or zoo, as examples.
• Cook together.

Acts of Service

Kiddos whose love language is acts of service love it when you do things for them.
These are the children that notice when you cook their favorite meal or drive out of your way so they can see the holiday lights in different neighborhoods.

Acts of service ideas

• Cook your child’s favorite meal or treat
• Do chores together, your child loves it when you “partner” with them.
• Help your child learn a new skill.
• Make an effort to do the things your child enjoys.
• Help your child understand homework or a school project.

Gifts

Some children feel loved when they receive gifts.
It is important to place emphasis on the time or act of thinking of your child that lead to the gift.
The gifts can be small tokens, a child who feels love through gifts will interpret your love regardless of expense or size of the gift.

Gift ideas

• Bring home a book or magazine that you know your child will be interested in.
• Make a gift together. It can be for the child or for someone else, like a scrapbook.
• Give your child a special gift to remind them of your love like a keychain or fun zipper pull.
• Start a collection of something with your child, rocks for example. Periodically find a special rock for them and tell them why you thought this rock was special for them.
• Surprise them with a favorite treat or snack.

Physical Touch

The kiddo whose love language is physical touch, wants to actually “feel” your love.
We have a cuddle chair in our home that we would read in at night.
My two boys and I would end up bumping shoulders, hips, and legs while I read.
This filled the love language of both my boys: physical touch and quality time.

Physical touch ideas

• Hug your child, I added a back scratch to the hug as the children got older so I could extend the hug.
• Cuddle together to read or watch a movie.
• Scratch or massage our child’s back.
• Come up with a family handshake or fist bump.
• Create a special spa day with facials, manicures, pedicures or all three!

Words of Affirmation

Praise and encouragement are what tell this kiddo they are loved.
When you compliment them in front of others, they feel you are very proud of them and love them.

Words of Affirmation ideas

• Leave a little note or letter in their lunch letting them know you love them and are thinking about them.
• Make a list of your child’s positive qualities.
  You can make this a lot of fun by creating an acrostic poem at the beginning of each month and for each letter of the month,
  use a word that describes your child.

Example: Marvelous
                  Amicable
                  Youthful

• Notice when your child does something well and compliment them for it.
• Use positive affirmations with your child. 

Self-Esteem Boosting
Confidence Raising
Positive Affirmations for kids

• The are 36 heart cut outs.
• You can choose the ones you love and use one each day of the month.
• Each one starts with Today... to center your child on what to focus on this day.
• Example: Today... I am good at solving problems.

Name

Email

Self Esteem in a Minute!

36 Self-Esteem
Boosting
Positive
Affirmations

• Group text, whether it is just you or the entire family if your child has a phone.We do this and it is a lot of fun.
  We send a meme or cartoon to tell each other something we are feeling, a funny thing we experienced, or just a way to brighten each other’s day.

Most of us have a primary love language and then a secondary one that comes in as a close second.
A lot of ways of showing that you love your child can speak to two or three different love languages at once.

If is important to keep in mind, not only with our children, but with our partners as well, that almost everyone is showing us that they love us in the way that they want to be loved. The problem may be that you don’t perceive love this way. If you are communicating you love your children in your love language, not theirs, they may not be understanding your message either. Once you understand love languages you can learn to “hear” how people love you so that you can love them back in a way that they can receive that love.

If you want to know what your child’s love language is, you can find many quizzes on the internet. On Gary Chapman’s official site there are great quizzes for adults, apology language quizzes, and ways to guess/determine what your young child’s love language is.

Please comment if you know what your child’s love language is and how you “speak” their language to give us all more ideas!

“I don’t have time to worry about who doesn’t like me, I’m too busy loving the people that love me.” – Charlie Brown