5 Ways to help your child become independent

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If you are wondering how you can ease the transition for your children to eventually live on their own…successfully, here are 5 ways to help your child become more independent. Each one has steps so you can start young and add the steps as they get older.

Teach them how to cook (independent self care skills-sustenance, planning, budgeting)

• Help plan the menu
• Create a grocery list
• Learn how to choose groceries/menu based on weekly sales
• Prep food (chop, marinate, measure ingredients, rinse foods)
• Assist in the cooking of food: for example stirring
• Actual cooking of the meal
• Cleaning up the kitchen after
• Learning how to clean counters (prevent spreading of germs)
• Importance of storing food, learning how

Teach them how to wash their clothes (independent self care skills-respect for own belongings)

• Go through clothes and check all of the pockets
• Turn all of the clothes right side out
• Learn how to sort clothes
• Pre-treat stains
• Do the actual load of laundry (load, select temperature, size of load, how to work the machine)
• Use the dryer (teach how to determine heat and time)
• Finish the work, by folding and putting the clothes away

Teach them how to talk to strangers (SEL: independent social skills: standing up for themselves & communication)

• Start with on the phone: order food, ask if stores have a product, etc.
• Call to schedule their own appointments (doctor, hair, car maintenance, etc).
• Move into interpersonal communication with people outside of family circle
• Learn how to join, start, maintain and end a conversation
• Also learn how to navigate conversations that the child may want to exit gracefully (ie. a situation where co-workers are talking, but it is not appropriate)

 Teach them how to manage money (independent life skills: financial awareness)

• A job can teach your child a lot about responsiblity-even if the job is simply cleaning up after a neighbor’s pet, regularly.
• There are many apps out there that help teach a child how to save and invest their money  I really like Busy Kid.
• Check into your local Credit Union-you can start establishing positive credit for your child while they are still at home! 
• Talk about credit score and how it affects insurance, loans, etc-tell your story
• Start putting a value to what you purchase for them and have them make purchases: New shoes: $10 an hour, child wanted the really popular shoe at $90, cost 9 hours of picking up after the dog (if that is their job)-are the shoes worth that?

Teach them to be responsible for their time (independent life skill: decision making/prioritization)

• Decide what works best: paper or digital, but have them use a calendar/schedule
• Teach them (do not assume they know) how to put everything they need to do each day into it
• Have a way to “check off” each event/task etc. they do each day, the feeling of accomplishment will remind them to look at the schedule
• The goal is to teach them to be responsible for their time, but to also show them (without you telling them) what they do or do not have time to commit to.

“You control your destiny – – you don’t need magic to do it.  And there are no magical shortcuts to solving your problems.” – – Merida (“Brave”)