10 Tips for Successful Parent – Teacher Conferences
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Parent – teacher conferences are a wonderful opportunity for you and the teacher to gel as a team to bring your child success and happiness this upcoming school year.
A parent – teacher conference is an important meeting to launch your child’s academic success for the upcoming year. It is a chance for the teacher to get to know you and it enables you to discuss any concerns, learning tips and fun personality traits about your child. Take this opportunity to start the year on a great foundation for your child.
1: The Meeting:
You do not like it when you have your time wasted.
Your child’s teacher is on a tight schedule during parent- teacher conferences.
Arrive on time and be conscious of how much time you are given for the meeting.
When you sign up, if you notice the teacher is scheduling every 15 minutes, this will be too short if you come with all of the information I recommend in this article. Contact the teacher and tell them that out of courtesy for the person after you, you request 30 minutes.
2: Introduction:
Introduce yourself, not just the name and maybe what you do, introduce your support as a parent.
How do you show up in your child’s life?
Are you able to help with homework after school, if not, you and the teacher can brainstorm how you can help later.
Are you open to “two sides of the story?”
Your child will come home with tales.
In my experience, they are all based on truth, but most are seriously embellished.
Are you willing to always reach out to the teacher with concerns?
This introduction lets the teacher you know you support them and want to create a team like relationship in your child’s success.
3: Student’s Strengths:
It is really helpful if you can tell the teacher what your child excels in, how they learn best.
The students are new to the teacher, he or she has to figure out each one and that takes time.
It is really helpful if you have spoken to past teachers or you have been able to objectively notice what your child is really good at.
Is your child good at group work? Discussions? Follow through? Homework? Organization?
Can your child be counted on as a positive leader if the teacher needs help?
Does your child love to help others (would be great with new students)?
4: Student’s Challenges:
This is a more difficult category.
In my four years as a middle school teacher, 75% of the parents thought their children were gifted.
The very definition of gifted is the top 3%.
This requires you to be honest, reflective and look to the challenges past teachers have had.
If the teacher knows, right off the bat, what causes your child to struggle, he or she may be able to head this off before it even happens.
I love my children and am their biggest advocate.
One of them is a follower. He also will lie if he feels he will disappoint someone.
He is not the person to choose to lead the class. This does not make him a bad person, he is actually a sensitive bug, but if the teacher knows this, he or she may be able to watch his interactions with classmates.
My other child does not work well in groups.
This does not get him out of group work, however, the teachers have a “calculation” when they “randomly” throw students together for group work.
Teachers almost always want this child to be the leader of the group because he is very responsible and has leadership qualities.
He does not exhibit these in groups.
The teacher needs to know to NOT put him in the group expecting him to lead and organize others.
5. Reading Level:
Once a child enters fourth grade, most of their learning in subjects like social studies and science is done through reading.
Success in one subject, reading, determines their success in another.
Some children simply do not love to read, if that is the case, help them fall in love with reading.
If your child has difficulty reading or is behind, discuss possible strategies with your teacher.
Often embarrassment or fear of being “discovered” leads a child to exhibit behaviors that will target them as a disruption.
Knowing your child has difficulty may also help the teacher when determining classroom “read aloud” roles.
Do you want your child to open up? Do you want to have a conversation with them?
I developed 52 conversation starters just for you!- Feel connection with your child.
- Ask questions that start brainstorming and strategize
- Feel Connection
- Learn new qualities, priorities and values about each other.
- Create an atmosphere of confidence in each other, so they know they can reach out to you.
6: Friends:
Are you concerned?
What are your concerns specifically?
How can the teacher help your child?
Is there anything the teacher can be on the “look out” for?
I had a child who was bullied horribly.
When I spoke to one teacher, she mentioned that she gets to school early every day and can use help setting up in the morning.
She gave my son a safe place to go and others to talk to.
She would not have mentioned this to me and my son may not have found out about it if I had not mentioned this concern.
Now we transition from what you have to offer to asking the teacher questions.
Listen, take notes and ask questions if you have any.
This is not an opportunity for you to change the way a teacher does things.
This is a way for you to learn how you can support your child and the teacher this year.
7: Expectations:
What are the expectations in the classroom?
Is there a routine that is done daily?
What is expected from your child to be “prepared” for class each day?
What should you expect for homework nightly?
How do they handle “big projects” for example, will progress be checked at each stage over time or will it be graded at once.
This is important because if you have a procrastinator and they are not held accountable at each stage, you will be up late one night and have tears and frustration because an entire Egyptian project has to be created in one evening.
IF your teacher does do big projects this way, ask that you be aware of the projects when they start and the rubric (grading system) for the project.
Rubrics include requirements and expectations for the project.
This way you can set up progress expectations with your child and make sure the project is getting done in a timely manner.
8: Classroom Management:
Every teacher has to have a way of managing their classroom.
In younger grades there may be a red/green light system.
You may be expected to ask your child at the end of the day, each day, to show you a planner with a “light” on it.
If the light is not green, the teacher may be expecting you to have a discussion with the child and the teacher is asking for your support in helping with the behavior. It is also important to note that this may be your teacher’s way of keeping you informed of what is happening in the classroom; they assume you are looking.
In older grades the teacher may send the child to another classroom for “alone time.”
This is also important to note because if your child is regularly being sent out, they are inevitably going to fall behind.
If the teacher says they use this method, ask them how they will communicate to you this is happening and how you can support them.
9: Grading:
How does the teacher assess the students?
Are there weekly quizzes?
Does he/she do an observation assessment on most topics?
Are the children expected to have a weekly reading or writing log?
What is the “make up” policy?
If you and your child know what to expect, you can plan for this.
If your teacher assigns a weekly paragraph on what the student is reading which counts for 60% of their reading grade and 30% of their writing grade, is there a rubric that tells the student what to include in this weekly writing?
What happens if a child does not turn one in one week, is there a way to make this up or will they get a zero for that week?
If a teacher will not allow late work, this does not make the teacher “bad” it sets your child up to learn to meet deadlines.
However, this can be difficult at first, know ahead of time.
10: Emotional Well Being:
By the time the parent teacher conferences occur, your teacher should know your child and a little bit about them.
The teacher may have noticed particular social situations or areas that seem to make your child feel overwhelmed, uncomfortable or isolated.
Ask if they have noticed anything about your child that may cause concern and if they have any suggestions.
11: Tutoring: (bonus tip!)
Finally, if you find that your child has difficulty in specific areas you can ask if the teacher has after or before school help for students available.
If you want something more formal than a little help here and there, ask if the school offers tutoring or has a list of recommended tutors.
Your goal is that your child has an academically successful and happy school year. When you offer helpful information about your child, ask good questions and connect with the teacher as a team mate, the parent teacher conference experience leaves everyone feeling satisfied.
You two have managed to accomplish something together no one ever has: you surprised me.
~Dean Hardscrabble, Monsters University