Holiday Experiences your Family will love…more than gifts!
Reading Time: 9 minutes Give an Experience this HOliday!
When was the last time your family bonded and laughed over a mini drone or lego set?
Holiday gift giving can be a cumbersome task.
You are getting gifts for people out of love and appreciation. Yet finding the “perfect” gift, that seems to truly represent each person can be difficult. You want to find a gift that:
- Reflects who they are, or is something they need.
- Is individualized and unique.
- It should be practical or useful.
- You want it to inspire them.
- The gift should show how much you care.
This is a tall order for one gift! You can meet all of these qualifications if you give an experience instead of a “something” for them to add to their shelves.
I love hybrid everything!
Our family celebrates Christmas and has many lovely traditions wrapped into this holiday. We also have routine. We all know what to expect: decorating the house, putting up the tree, what the meal will be on the eve and day, when we head to church, preparing the gifts for all of the people who come to our door (mailman, newspaper, UPS, trash, etc), playing games together, walking in the early evening, and watching each person open their gifts.
It was hard to “walk away” from what was tried, true, and consistent and start something new. For me, the impetus was my sons were out of the house and Christmas just did not feel like a holiday, it felt like a loss.
We saved our money for the year and bought a family vacation two weeks before Christmas in 2019. Everyone was able to get the time off. We did not gather at one household and recreate all of the Christmas memories of times past. Instead we ventured into completely new territory. It was the most amazing holiday we have ever had.
True confessions, I think change is good, but I am a “hybrid” kind of gal. Before we “jump” all in with one thing, let’s have an “in between” first. So, we did ask our boys if there was anything they really needed materially. It is funny, but for both of my boys, Christmas usually means new sneakers. There was a material gift, the needed items.
I explained to everyone, I had not bought stocking stuffers or surprise gifts, the vacation was it. My husband and I did not exchange gifts; we had saved for that trip.
No one was disappointed. Everyone wanted to do it again. I had no idea this was an actual “thing.” I later learned it is called giving an experience instead of a traditional gift.
Why experiences?
Sometimes it is easy to get caught in our routines and schedules. We can forget to appreciate and interact with those who mean the most to us. If you give an experience that you will share with someone, you are saying, “I want to spend some time with you.” I got caught up in the busyness of life and had not met with a friend in a while. When her birthday came around, I went to a local craft shop and signed us both up for a class that we could do together. I wanted to spend time with her as well as celebrate her day.
Benefits of experiences:
- Not another “thing”: many of us have so much “stuff” that we just do not want another “thing” to clutter our shelves.
- Creates conversation: whether you share the experience or give an experience the person does alone or with others, you can talk about it.
- Creates memories: you can get snapshots of being out there, doing, and laughing.
- Experiences bring people more happiness than things: seriously, a 20 year study found this out.
- If creating a family experience, children love the security that a family event gives them.
- Experiences bring people together!
What qualifies as an experience?
Some people have elaborate “get aways” for their family experiences or celebrations. Unknowingly, this is how we “fell” into our first gift for experience swap. However, experiences can be anything where the receiver does something, whether a trip, class, pampering, activity, the list goes on and on. I will have a list at the end of this article. Your family probably has experiences often, but does not classify them as gifts. We have an animal sanctuary near us. We had not been in years. One Saturday, my husband said, “Tomorrow, let’s all go to Heritage Park.” My son, 22, thought, “Seriously? We are going to the zoo…together?” We got up early Sunday morning and were there for 3 hours. We laughed, we read why the animals were there, we tried to find the animals who were hiding before each other, and the best thing, we talked about absolutely nothing stressful, routine or that caused conflict. A wonderful experience.
When should an experience happen to qualify for the holidays?
I just gave you an example of a family experience we had, in August. It was not premised with: “This is your birthday present” it was just a fun way for our family to interact.
We now have three schedules to try to coordinate. My older son usually goes to his girlfriend’s house for Christmas, my younger son just came back from Seattle, so instead of travel and school we are just arranging for his work, and my husband, who flies, is almost never home for the holidays.
We have always changed the day of whatever holiday to make certain that we are all together. It is being together that makes the holiday for us, not the actual date.
Last year, I gave my son and his girlfriend a couple of experiences on Groupon. If you do not know this site, look it up, it is fabulous! I did not share the experience with them, but they like to try new things and get out and about. They were also both newer to Mesa, Arizona. Their favorite was an e-bike tour of old town Scottsdale.
They did not use their Groupon or experience until March. I gave them the certificate for the experience the second week of December. This is when we were celebrating Christmas. It was clear that it was a Christmas present, to be used when it was convenient for them.
So the only conditions for when an experience counts as a gift are timing (are you celebrating-give them the certificate for the experience then) and intention (the experience is intended to be a gift).
What if I love my old traditions?
I hang snowflakes from the living room ceiling that the children created throughout their childhood. It looks like it is snowing in Arizona (which is actually why we started this tradition). I love this. I remember making them with the boys. I see the different phases they went through based on how the snowflakes are decorated, like Sponge Bob or sports teams.
There are some foods I enjoy around the holidays that are unique to my family.
Each year I hang those snowflakes and make specific foods. I keep many of the traditions I enjoy. I have found that finding an “obligatory” gift, which I did not like at all, and finding meaningful stocking stuffers were easy to let go of.
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I was actually speaking to my sister about the obligatory gifting…because it is a holiday. She said she did not like it either. Now, our gift to each other is every two years we take a sisters’ holiday. Whether we can get away for a week or a weekend, whether it is to a medical conference in Hawaii or a discounted trip to Vegas, we are together and we enjoy the experiences we have.
A new tradition was created out of the old.
As the children grow older:
I feel we have a lot in our society; we are blessed. The truth of the matter, however, is that children love presents and they love to open them. The more the better. I have watched children on Christmas morning tear into their gifts with an almost gluttony; not really seeing what the actual present is, but enjoying the tearing open of the paper.
I have a solution to this problem, make sure you read my blog: 25 Days of Books.
It is a favorite in many of my family’s hearts.
As the children grow older, some of the magic seems to dwindle. If you have not tried swapping an experience for material gifts, when you see that sparkle dimming, it is definitely time.
Remember, you do not have to do anything all of the way. Try the hybrid plan. Ask your children what is one special gift they want and what is one thing they need. Then that is it. Everyone gets two gifts, but everyone also experiences an amazing time together.
When I have asked my boys about times growing up that were important to them, they never once mentioned stuff they had received. They both bring up times we, as a family, were together, creating memories and experiencing life.
Experiences that can be common or turn into a tradition that I recommend:
- Darts (Do you have a dartboard? This can be a weekly tournament!)
- Games (We played games every week.)
- Outdoor games (Bocce, Corn hole, Croquet, Horseshoes, Kubb)
- Pizza and movie night (Make or grab a pizza and pick a family movie to stream.)
- Family bike ride (We did this when I was young, at least 3 times a week, I loved it!)
- Family karaoke (Some may be the back up dancers!)
- Art gallery critique (Go into a local art gallery, each person picks their favorite and least favorite to share over ice cream later!)
- Paint kindness rocks and hide them all over town!
- Make a meal each week for a neighbor or someone in need.
- Puzzle (Have a puzzle on a designated table and work on it together once a week).
Bonus: DIY time together where you make gifts to give teachers, hair stylists, delivery people: all the people you want to appreciate.
Experiences to be given as gifts:
1. Staycation (Give overwhelmed parents a night at a local hotel-you will watch the kids!)
2. Concert Tickets
3. Sporting event tickets
4. Local class (From cooking classes, to painting, to meditation, there are lots of classes going on.)
5. Give 18 holes of golf
6. Bowling
7. Local arcade night
8. Massage/spa experience
9. Play time at a local gym for children
10. Climbing wall
11. Bounce Place (indoor trampoline park)
12. Swim party (Did you know many local hotels with indoor pools will rent to locals?)
13. Weekend trip to ? (What is close to you that holds interest for the family? We can do a weekend in Phoenix and go to a family comedy night, see a play, go to an amusement park, eat out, it seems the options are endless!)
14. Car wash certificates (this one is not so much an experience, as a need, but it does not clutter up the shelves!)
15. Plan a hot air balloon ride
16. Ice or Roller skating
17. A fun tour (We have a local Segway tour, I did not know what Segway’s were!)
18. Dance lessons (My husband got me this for Christmas one year…best gift ever!)
19. Exercise or martial arts classes (These classes differ because they will be more ongoing than 1-3 events.)
20. Plan a vacation (It was our best Christmas ever! Santa did not find us, we snorkeled, sailed on a pirate ship, zip lined, we had many experiences in one!)
I am now a convert. I love the gift of an experience over stuff. Being together warms my heart. Discovering new towns or hobbies, laughing over whatever, it almost seems that we focus on what is important, each other and enjoying the day. An experience allows you to give the gifts of: time, love, and memories.