When did you last have a “normal” conversation?

I forgot what normal was.

It’s been almost two years.  It is hard to believe.  On the one hand you think to yourself, “Oh my heck it has been two years and I have not gotten anything done!” On the other hand, “It has been only two years since we first had a run on toilet paper?” There has been a roulette wheel of emotions as so much has happened in our country and in our communities over those two years.  It was not until I recently went on my first big vacation since January 2020 that I realized I have not been truly happy in all this time.

I felt a lot of emotions in the beginning: disbelief that Covid could be as serious as early estimates, amazement at business and school closures with very few deaths in our county, hilarity at the need of so much toilet paper, anticipation for “when it would all go back to normal,” fear that I may be a “silent killer” and not know I had it and spread it and finally acceptance that the world as we knew it had changed.

None of those permanently affected me like the division.  I was undone by the division that occurred, first because of the mask vs. no mask, then Biden vs. Trump, then Black Lives Matter vs. Blue Lives Matter vs. All Lives Matter, then the rioting, I felt ripped open.  We, as a country had not even gotten to the vaccine and all the division surrounding it and I had the permanent black cloud of depression around me, much like Pig-Pen from the Peanuts comic strip.

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My mood, behavior and feelings were “normal” so I never noticed there was a problem.  It seems that whether a person was on one side of a fence (it doesn’t matter which fence, there are plenty to choose from) or another, everyone was feeling this overwhelming sense of powerlessness and sadness.

I then got my travel documents in order and flew to Cancun.  My husband and I stayed at a resort we have stayed at three times before; I love it there!  My favorite sport is snorkeling and they have fabulous snorkeling right off of the beach, no excursion necessary.  The beach was beautiful.  The food was delicious.  The people, the people visiting, the people who worked there, the people in the airport, the people on the plane, the people everywhere we went were friendly.

I started to pay attention because it was so contrary to what I had experienced in the past two years.  We have family being torn apart.  We have phone calls that are meant to just be “hey how are you doing, I was just checking on you” that turn into full out political nightmares.  These are with people we love and know.  Imagine what it is like with people who we don’t know?

Sean and I are on the beach.  We have an actual camera and want a picture of us together.  I ask a couple if they mind taking our picture.  It turns out this couple is from upstate New York.  George and Penny.  George has been in the automotive field for over 20 years and is currently overseeing the fleet at FedEx. This guy knows his stuff!  I have a car enthusiast for a son, so I asked George a lot of questions about the automotive field.  Our other son lived in Brooklyn and we talked about New York.  We had a delightful conversation for 45 minutes.  No one asked about the vaccine.  No one asked about political preferences.  None of that was pertinent to anything we had to say to each other.  

We had a conversation about regular topics.  We did this before Covid.  I just did not remember what it was like.  I had no idea what a normal conversation felt like when you did not tip toe around topics or avoid land mines or end the conversation angry.  

We went to the hibachi for dinner one night.  We sat next to a French couple and a Canadian couple. Again, I noticed that the conversations were perfectly ordinary.  No politics, well I guess a little. I asked what term limits they had in Canada, I was just curious about their government style.  The question was not asked in hostility or criticism about their government nor was it taken that way; I just did not know.  

Eight days.  I had eight days of absolute happy bliss.  I am now on the plane coming back home.  I have trepidation about the family gatherings this holiday season.  Is there a way we can navigate the highly emotional topics that divide us and have “normal” conversation?  Through these perfectly ordinary interactions, can we become unified?

How will you find and end this year in a happy frame of mind?