Collaborative Games: A Great Way to Connect as a Family
Try collaborative game night:
And Get amazing family connection Time!
I remember a lot of days where we were running to baseball or music lessons. Then we had to grab food, which I was lucky if I had prepared early. Then even though we were home, I felt rushed, trying to get everything done: animals fed, homework done, area picked up, organized for the next day, showers-baths when they were younger and reading time. I wanted all of this done in time for them to go to bed at a reasonable time so they could get plenty of sleep to start it all over again the next day.
I know there are arguments out there for children being involved in too much. (See the blog on Parenting Styles: Simple Parenting) My boys chose their activities, I respected their passions and tried to support them, as exhausted as it made us all. It did occur to me at the time, I was not connecting with my kids; I was supporting them, I was chauffeuring them, I was feeding them. I was not always connecting though. I yearned for more.
I went to what I knew: games. I loved when my family got together for holidays as a child. I do not have a large family, but it seemed when we had family get togethers or holidays we always played cards. These times were some of my most cherished memories from childhood. My knowledge of games has grown and this is what I want to share with you. I have spoken with many about “game night” with the family and have seen an involuntary cringe happen. When I asked about what they don’t like about games, it is inevitably the competitiveness.
I totally understand! I was late to learn about collaborative games. I am so thrilled to be able to share with you. A collaborative game is a game where the people playing form a team to beat the game. Either you all work together and win or you all lose and the game wins.
There has been a lot of research on game play for children. Collaborative games have been found to encourage and teach:
Strategy/Critical Thinking Skills
Self-esteem
Motivation
Social Skills
Communication
Compromise
Listening Skills
I look at that list and think, “Wow, as a mom, these are definitely on my bucket list for things I want my child to learn, but how?! Just by playing with, having fun with and connecting with my kiddos this can happen…naturally?” It sounds too good to be true, but there has been a lot of research on it.
In a “non research” way and more of a “mom” way, what do I love most about collaborative gaming? If you have a child that is over shadowed by another, maybe thinks a little differently or has talents that are not applauded by in school-so maybe they have a lower self-esteem because they are constantly comparing themselves to that other sibling, collaborative games are amazing!

Everyone brings value to the game
We have that scenario in our home. Yet, when we play collaborative games, that younger child with his ability to remember things so well becomes a huge asset for our team. He also has learned strategy because we talk through our different “attacks” out loud and weigh the pros and cons while he absorbs why we like this one or that one and how we came up with them. This child never felt “less than” on game nights; he was an integral part of the team and we needed his special skills and he knew that, maybe just as importantly, so did the rest of the family, so there was an appreciation that may not have been there before.
Back to that connection, we played games at least once a week often up to three nights a week. It was a time we could all connect and talk about nothing but the game in front of us. There was no conflict, no talk of homework, no talk of school, just us being us. The kids ended up bringing friends over for game night as they grew older. We did not have a “set” night, we just played when we were all done with dishes and work or homework was done and it felt good; we were not big TV people.
So, my kids would bring their friends and say, “Hey, how about a game tonight?”

It was fun. We actually had one of our son’s friends that came over for regular “gaming” after the son had left for college; the friend loved the feeling of the togetherness, the connection.
I have a link to games I love and have played. There are a bunch out there. This link has both competitive and collaborative games and it is an affiliate link if you “click through” to Amazon. However, with each game I tell you why we love it. The collaborative games can be complicated at the start, depending on the level, for example Hoot Owl Hoot, is easy to learn, Pandemic takes more time. I hate reading instructions, so I recommend taking some time and simply watching a YouTube video on it. If you have an older child, have them watch with you.
I wish you happy gaming and deeper connections!